You Must Water A Flower For It To Grow

One of the hardest things I’ve struggled with throughout this journey is finding a balance between focusing on our special needs kiddo without neglecting the equal attention owed to our other child.

Noli is actually short for Magnolia. Magnolias have a sentimental significance for me, so it was the perfect name to give our first born.

As time has gone on and Noli has gotten older, it’s become noticeably more difficult for her to ‘deal’ with the kind of situation we are living in. Now more so than before, she recognizes when we scramble in the middle of the night to hit the road for the hospital with Kieran. It breaks my heart to watch her cry and question the reason we are leaving, how come Kieran has to be sick, and why she can’t come with us. Although it’s our reality, it nonetheless seems very unfair for a precious babe of her age to be facing these types of feelings.

The vast majority of our life revolves around Kieran’s care. But, today, I share this post in dedication to the equally loved sunshine girl we are beyond proud to call our daughter.

Noli will always hold the title of being my first true love. Her arrival was a turning point for me, and I’ve never looked back.

Her beauty is unparalleled, she is incredibly smart and sweet, and she never fails to keep us laughing when, inside, spirits are low.

Noli is flourishing at school, and even reading books on her own now! She loves writing letters, and has an adorable affectionate side. While I constantly stress over how hard our circumstances must be for her, there’s no doubt she was gifted with a unique spark that allows her to be stronger than most (myself included).

I write a letter for Noli each year on her birthday that gets stored in our safe. I’ll be sobbing when she comes of age to finally receive my letters, but maybe that day, reading my words from throughout the years, she will finally be able to understand how cherished and irreplaceable she is, in my eyes. The love I hold for my Noli-Bean is unbreakable and truly one-of-a-kind. It’s easy for the hectic day-to-day roller coaster with our special needs child to attract the limelight; but, Noli is by no means less important or valued. To the contrary, she is the one who showed me how to love unconditionally and care more about another person than I do about myself. I could never be the successful advocate that I am for Kieran if it weren’t for all Noli has taught me.

“Mamma Bear”ett